KIDS
& SCIENCE
-
Submitted by J. Thompson
HE
FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES
FROM
11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:
*
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.
Oxygin
is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
*
"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull."
*
"When you breathe, you inspire.
When
you do not breathe, you expire."
*
"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
*
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries,
vanes,
and caterpillars."
*
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire."
*
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."
*
"The body consists of three parts
-
the brainium, the borax and
the abominable cavity.The brainium contains the brain,
the
borax contains the heart and lungs,and the abominable cavity
contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."
*
"Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."
*
"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
*
"For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration."
*
"For Fainting:
Rub
the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead.
Or
put the head between the knees of the
nearest medical doctor."
*
"The alimentary canal is located in
the
northern part of Indiana."
*
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon.
All
water tends towards the moon,
because
there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight."
*
"Equator:
A
managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
*
"Germinate:
To
become a naturalized German."
*
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
*
"To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."
