HOW
TO SCREW UP AN INTERVIEW
-
Submitted by Ken Smith
We've
all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those
interviews
thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't
fidget.
Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts,
we knew
we'd
disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light
years
beyond
this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American
corporations
and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.
The
lowlights:
.
"... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
"She
wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same
time."
" A balding candidate abruptly excused himself.
Returned
to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
"... asked to see interviewer's resume to see
if the
personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
"... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat
a hamburger
and french fries in the interviewer's office
-wiping
the ketchup on hr sleeve"
"Stated that, if he were hired,
he would
demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."
"Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview
questions."
"When I asked him about his hobbies,
he stood
up and started tap dancing around my office."
"At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck,
went
through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."
"... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me.
Said
he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."
"Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."
"While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy
of Penthouse,
and looked
through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."
"During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief
case.
He took
it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."
"A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his
wife.
His side
of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start?
What's
the salary?" I said,
"I assume
you're not interested in conducting the interview any further."
He promptly
responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more.
"I didn't
hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer.
It was
a scam to get a higher offer."
"His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled,
revealing
ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."
"Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job,
but the
unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."
"... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk.
When
I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone
number.
I called
security."
"Pointing to a black case he carried into my office,
he said
that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off.
Disbelieving,
I began to state why he would never be hired and that
I was
going to call the police.He then reached down to the case,
flipped
a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."
