WESTLEY
(not so gently)
Gently!!
And she lets go, thumping his head against the headboard and
CUT TO:
COUNT RUGEN,
looking very much surprised.
RUGEN
Good heavens. Are you still trying to win?
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
Inigo, struggling feebly, pulling the dagger from his stomach. Holding the wound with his left hand.
Rugen is pushing off from the table, sword in hand, moving in to kill Inigo.
RUGEN
You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble some day.
Inigo watches the Count approach, and the Count flicks his sword at
Inigo's heart, and there's not much Inigo can do, just kind
of vaguely parry the thrust with the six-fingered sword and Count Rugen's
blade sinks deeply into Inigo's left shoulder.
Inigo doesn't seem to feel it, his other agonies are so much worse.
CUT TO:
THE COUNT,
stepping back, going for the heart again.
CUT TO:
INIGO.
And as this blow comes he's trying to use the wall for support in forcing
himself to his feet, and it's not a roaring success of an
attempt, but he does at least make some progress, and again he manages
to parry the thrust, as this time Rugen's sword runs
through his right arm. Again, Inigo doesn't seem to mind, doesn't even
feel it.
CUT TO:
COUNT RUGEN,
stepping back forjust a moment, watching as Inigo continues to inch
his way to his feet and then, just before the Count is about
to strike again, Inigo manages a little flick of his own and Rugen
hadn't expected it, and he jumps back, makes a little
involuntary cry of surprise and
CUT TO:
Inigo,
slowly pushing away from the wall.
INIGO
(all but audible)
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father; prepare to die.
CUT TO:
COUNT RUGEN,
suddenly going into a fierce attack, striking with great power and precision
for he is a master swordsman, and he forces Inigo
easily back, drives him easily into the wall. But he does not penetrate
Inigo's defense. None of the Count's blows get home. As
the Count steps back a moment --
CUT TO:
INIGO,
pushing slowly off from the wall again.
INIGO
(a little louder)
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
CUT TO:
THE COUNT.
And again he attacks, slashing with wondrous skill. But none of his blows get through and, slowly, Inigo, again moves forward.
INIGO
(a little louder still)
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
RUGEN
Stop saying that!
CUT TO:
COUNT RUGEN,
retreating more quickly around the table.
Inigo drives for the Count's left shoulder now, thrusts home where the
Count had gotten him. Then another move and his blade
enters the Count's right shoulder, the same spot Inigo was wounded.
INIGO
(all he's got)
HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA. YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE.
RUGEN
No --
INIGO
-- offer me money --
And now the six-fingered sword strikes and there is a slash bleeding along one of Rugen's cheeks.
RUGEN
-- yes --
INIGO
-- power too -- promise me that --
The great sword flashes again, and now there is a parallel slash bleeding on Rugen's other cheek.
RUGEN
-- all that I have and more please --
INIGO
-- offer me everything I ask for --
RUGEN
-- anything you want --
INIGO
(roaring)
I WANT MY FATHER BACK, YOU SON-OF- A-BITCH!
And on that --
CUT TO:
INIGO,
and almost too fast for the eye to follow, the sword strikes one final time and --
CUT TO:
COUNT RUGEN,
crying out in fear and panic as the sword hits home dead center and --
& nbsp; CUT TO:
INIGO AND RUGEN,
the sword clear through the Count. They are almost frozen like that
for a moment. Then Inigo withdraws his sword and as the
Count pitches down --
CUT TO:
RUGEN,
lying dead. His skin is ashen and the blood still pours from the parallel
cuts on his cheeks and his eyes are bulging wide, full of
fear.
CUT TO:
INIGO,
staring at Rugen. And now Inigo does something we have never seen him
do before: he smiles. HOLD FOR JUST A
MOMENT on Inigo smiling, then --
CUT TO:
INSIDE THE HONEYMOON SUITE
WESTLEY lies as before, not a muscle has moved, his head is still on
the headboard, Yellin's sword at his side. Buttercup is
alongside the bed; her eyes never leave his face.
BUTTERCUP
Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
WESTLEY
What hideous sin have you committed lately?
BUTTERCUP
I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.
WESTLEY
It never happened.
BUTTERCUP
What?
WESTLEY
It never happened.
BUTTERCUP
But it did. I was there. This old man said, "Man and wife."
WESTLEY
Did you say, "I do"?
BUTTERCUP
Well, no, we sort of skipped that part.
WESTLEY
Then you're not married -- if you didn't say it, you didn't do it --
(a pause)
-- wouldn't you agree, Your Highness?
CUT TO:
HUMPERDINCK,
entering the room, staring at them. He pulls out his sword.
HUMPERDINCK
A technicality that will shortly be remedied. But first things first. To the death.
WESTLEY
No.
(a little pause)
To the pain.
HUMPERDINCK
(about to charge, stops short)
I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
WESTLEY
I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon.
HUMPERDINCK
That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
CUT TO:
WESTLEY,
lying there comfortably, his words quiet at first.
WESTLEY
It won't be the last. To the pain means the
first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands
at the wrists, next your nose.
CUT TO:
HUMPERDINCK
gripping his sword, watching.
HUMPERDINCK
-- and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed
you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate
tonight.
WESTLEY
I wasn't finished -- the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right --
HUMPERDINCK
(takes step forward)
-- and then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it --
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: WESTLEY HUGE
WESTLEY
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why --
CUT TO:
HUMPERDINCK.
And now he stops, and the look that was in his eyes at the wedding, that look of fear, is starting to return.
WESTLEY
-- so that every shriek of every child at seeing
your hideousness will be yours to cherish -- every babe that weeps
at your approach, every woman who cries out,
"Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That
is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave
you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
CUT TO:
HUMPERDINCK,
doing his best to hide the fear that keeps building inside him.
HUMPERDINCK
I think you're bluffing --
CUT TO:
WESTLEY,
lying there, staring at him.
; WESTLEY
It's possible, pig -- I might be bluffing --
it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here
because I lack the strength to stand -- then
again, perhaps I have the strength after all.
And now, slowly, Westley begins to move. His body turns, his feet go to the floor, he starts to stand --
CUT TO:
HUMPERDINCK,
staring, eyes wide.
CUT TO:
WESTLEY.
And now he is standing, sword in fighting position.
WESTLEY
-- DROP YOUR SWORD!
CUT TO:
PRINCE HUMPERDINCK,
and he's so panicked he doesn't know whether to pee or wind his watch. He throws his sword to the floor.
WESTLEY
(to Humperdinck)
Have a seat.
CUT TO:
WESTLEY,
speaking to Buttercup as Humperdinck sits.
WESTLEY
Tie him up. Make it as tight as you like.
And as she sets to work --
CUT TO:
INIGO,
entering, looking around.
INIGO
Where's FEZZIK?
WESTLEY
I thought he was with you.
INIGO
No.
WESTLEY
In that case --
(and his balance betrays him)
INIGO
(to Buttercup)
Help him.
BUTTERCUP
Why does Westley need helping?
INIGO
Because he has no strength --
CUT TO:
HUMPERDINCK,
and now be starts wrestling mightily with his bonds.
HUMPERDINCK
I knew it! I knew you were bluffing! I knew he was bluffing.
INIGO
(staring at the Prince)
Shall I dispatch him for you?
WESTLEY
(considers this, then)
Thank you, but no -- whatever happens to us, I want him to live a long life alone with his cowardice.
FEZZIK
(off-screen)
Inigo! Inigo, where are you?
They look at each other, then move to the balcony, and
CUT TO:
FEZZIK,
leading FOUR GREAT WHITE HORSES. He glances up, sees them on the balcony.
FEZZIK
Ah, there you are. Inigo, I saw the Prince's
stables, and there they were, four white horses. And I thought, there
are four of us, if we ever find the lad --
hello, lad -- so I took them with me, in case we ever bumped into each
other.
(considers things a moment)
I guess we just did.
CUT TO:
INIGO AND WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP,
looking down at FEZZIK.
INIGO
FEZZIK, you did something right.
FEZZIK
Don't worry -- I won't let it go to my head.
And as he holds out his great arms,
CUT TO:
SOMETHING UNEXPECTED AND VERY LOVELY:
Buttercup floating through the air. What's happening, of course, is
that she's jumping from the balcony so FEZZIKcan catch
her. But her fall is in slow motion so you might think she was flying.
Westley and Inigo, watching as FEZZIK catches Buttercup.
INIGO
You know, it's very strange -- I have been
in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what
to do with the rest of my life.
WESTLEY
(as Inigo gets him ready for his jump)
Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
Now from that --
CUT TO:
THE FOUR GLORIOUS WHITE HORSES WITH THEIR FOUR RIDERS,
triumphantly racing through the night --
&n bsp; CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY,
and at last their trials are done. They stop.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
They rode to freedom. And as dawn arose, Westley
and Buttercup knew they were safe. A wave of love swept
over them. And as they reached for each other...
As Buttercup and Westley begin their ultimate kiss --
CUT TO:
THE KID'S BEDROOM
The Grandfather stops reading.
THE KID
What? What?
GRANDFATHER
No, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.
THE KID
I don't mind so much.
(he gestures for his Grandfather to read)
GRANDFATHER
Okay.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
Since the invention of the kiss, there have
been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure.
This one left them all behind. The end.
CUT TO:
THE KID'S ROOM
The Grandfather snaps the book closed.
GRANDFATHER
Now I think you ought to go to sleep.
THE KID
Okay.
GRANDFATHER
(standing, readying to leave)
Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. So long.
THE KID
Grandpa?
(The Old Man stops, turns)
Maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
GRANDFATHER
(there is a pause; then --)
As you wish...
And his smile is enough. As The Grandfather steps out the door,
FINAL FADE OUT:
THE END