| C | F | |
| Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one). | ||
| Miami residents turn on the heat. | ||
| New Hampshire residents go to outdoor concerts. | ||
| You can see your breath; Californians shiver uncontrollably;Minnesotans go swimming. | ||
| Italian cars don't start. | ||
| Swedes celebrate summer and hit the beaches topless | ||
| Water freezes | ||
| -1 | You plan your vacation to Australia. | |
| -4 | Ohio water freezes; Californians weep pitiably; Minnesotans eat ice cream; Canadians go swimming. | |
| -6 | Politicians begin to talk about the homeless; New York City water freezes; Miami residents plan vacation further south. | |
| -10 | French cars don't start; Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you. | |
| -12 | You need jumper cables to get the car going. | |
| -15 | American cars don't start. | |
| -18 | Alaskans put on T-Shirts. | |
| -23 | -10 | German cars don't start; Eyes freeze shut when you blink. |
| -26 | -15 | You can cut your
breath and use it to build an igloo;
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects; Miami residents cease to exist. |
| -29 | -20 | Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you; Politicians actually do something about the homeless; Minnesotans shovel snow off roof; Japanese cars don't start. |
| -32 | -25 | Too cold to think; You need jumper cables to get the driver going. |
| -34 | -30 | You plan a two week hot bath; Swedish cars don't start. |
| -38 | -38 | Californians disappear;
Minnesotans button top button; Canadians put on sweaters; Scientests around
the world celebrate since Fahrenheit and Celcius thermometers finally match.
|
| -45 | -50 | Congressional hot air freezes; Alaskans close the bathroom window. You car helps you plan your trip south (Or North if you love in the Southern Hemnisphere) |
| -62 | -80 | Hell freezes over; Polar bears move south; Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game. |
| -67 | -90 | Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets. |
| -68 | -91 | Life ceases. |
