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Submitted by Tim Mercer
AQUADEXTROUS
(ak wa deks' trus) adj.
Possessing
the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.
CARPERPETUATION
(kar' pur pet u a shun) n.
The
act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least
a dozen
times,
reaching over and picking it up, examining it,
then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT (dis
kon fekt') v.
To
sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it,
assuming
this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
ELBONICS (el
bon' iks) n.
The
actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater
(airplane).
FRUST
(frust) n.
The
small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan
and
keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides
to
give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION
(lak' to man guy lay' shun) n.
Manhandling
the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly
that
one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
PEPPIER (pehp
ee ay') n.
The
waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around
asking
diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA
(fo nee' zhuh) n.
The
affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling
just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup'kus)
n.
The
moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION
(tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The
act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it
up,
even
when you're only six inches away.
