REALLY
FUNNY SIGNS
-
submitted by EE HECK
Sign
on an electrician's truck:
Let
us remove your shorts.
Maternity
Clothes Shop:
We are
open on labor day.
Non-smoking
area:
If
we see you smoking we will
assume
you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On
a Maternity Room Door:
"Push,
Push, Push"
On
a Front Door:
Everyone
on the premises is a
vegetarian
except the dog.
Optometrist's
Office:
If
you don't see what you're
looking
for, you've come to the right place.
Scientist's
Door:
Gone
Fission
Taxidermist
Window:
We really
know our stuff.
Podiatrist's
Window:
Time
wounds all heels.
Butcher's
window:
Let me
meat your needs.
Used
Car Lot:
Second
Hand cars in first crash condition
Sign
on Fence:
Salesmen
welcome. Dog food is expensive."
Car
Dealership:
The best
way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
Muffler
Shop:
No appointment
necessary. We'll hear you coming.
Hotel:
"Help!"
We need inn - experienced people.
Butcher's
Window:
Pleased
to meat you.
Auto
Body Shop:
May we
have the next dents?
Sign
in an office:
We shoot
every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
Veterinarians
Waiting Room :
Be back
in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
The
Electric Company:
We would
be delighted if you send in your bill.
However,
if you don't, you will be.
Beauty
Shop:
Dye now!
Garbage
Truck:
We've
got what it takes to take what you've got.
Computer
Store:
Out for
a quick byte
Diner
Window:
Don't
stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
Bowling
Alley:
Please
be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Cafeteria:
Shoes
are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks
can eat any place they want.
Music
Library:
Bach
in a minuet.
Funeral
Home:
Drive
carefully, we'll wait.
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